Here's Why Your Cat Gives You "Love" Bites

111 comments

If you're a cat butler (err, owner) you've probably experienced a "love bite" or two. Love bites usually happen in the midst of kitty cuddle time. One minute your kitty will be purring away as you pet them, the next they're nibbling and nipping at your hands. My cat Rascal has a fondness for my chomping down on my knuckles. This odd behavior may leave many cat owners wondering, "Why is my cat biting me out of nowhere?"

Biting is a form of communication for cats. They can bite for more than a few reasons: fear, aggression, defensiveness, or acting territorially. But did you know that many cats give their owners gentle nibbles and nips as a display of affection? Hence the name "Love Bites"! Cats show their affection for us humans in several ways - you just have to know what to look for. 

What is a Love Bite?

Love bites generally start as licks and graduate into gentle nips and nibbles that don't break the skin. Some cat behaviorists believe that love bites are reminiscent of a cat's kittenhood when their mothers would lick and nibble them during grooming. So if your cat is giving you a gentle nibble or lick, it can be seen as a sign of affection.

And believe it or not, though domestic cats aren't usually seen as "social" animals, they actually enjoy participating in what's called "allogrooming." Allogrooming is a social grooming behavior that helps increase bonds among social groups, in this case, you and your kitty; much like a pride of lions

So, how can you tell what is and isn't a love bite? A love bite generally doesn't break the skin. And when your kitty is giving you these gentle nibbles, there won't be other signs of fear or aggression, like hissing, growling, and clawing. Engaging in "love bite" behavior, your cat's body language will be relaxed and calm. 

Overstimulation

However, as most cat owners know: sometimes these gentle nibbles and licks can be a sign that your cat is overstimulated and they're letting you know, gently, that it's time to stop. If you've ever been petting your cat only to have their gentle nibbles escalate suddenly into a harder bite, your cat may be experiencing overstimulation. If you have multiple cats that groom each other, you may notice this behavior during grooming time, too. 

Cats may experience overstimulation due to the sensitivity of their hair follicles - after an extended period of petting or pressure, it can begin to hurt and cause discomfort in cats. Gentle nips may be your cat letting you know petting time is over; these warnings may be paired with other signs of discomfort, such as tail swishing or flicking, skin twitching over the back, flattening of the ears, freezing, tenseness or staring, quick head turn to watch your hand as you pet, pupillary dilation, or walking away and lying down. 

 

How to Stop "Love Bites"

While love bites can often be a sign of affection, they can still hurt or cause discomfort to us cat owners. It's okay to discourage this behavior.

1. When your cat gives you love bites, don't quickly pull your hand away. Instead, stop moving your hand altogether until the nibbles stop, then move your hand. Cats are visual predators and the movement of your hand may encourage their prey drive and make them chomp down harder, purely out of instinct. 

Don't yell at or swat your cat, as this may result in fearful or aggressive behavior. Instead, use a reward system, such as treats, when the cat shows appropriate behavior. 

2. If your cat gives you love bites a little too often, try a hands-off play style. Use interactive toys such as a variety of wand toys or even an app-controlled cat toy to encourage bonding with your cat without the love bites.

 

Does your cat give you love bites? Let us know in the comments! 

 


111 comments


  • mike fryer

    My cat’s love bites are hard, skin breaking, HURTFUL types. And he’s not threatened but rather is settled in to a comfy snuggle. I KNOW he’s signaling love but like the song says: " love hurts… " I don’t really see any adequate answers herein.


  • Amy

    My cat gives me these love bites when I’m in bed and he has to be up their with me but if I use 1 hand to let him he will love bite me until I use both my hands and also if I began to pet his back he will let me know by these love bites to stop he likes his head and neck rubbed with both hands at bed time and when he’s all done he just gently lays down next to me for the whole night until my alarm goes off !!!


  • Kelly Dobrzenski

    Our new new kitty gives me a very, very light little fairly often while I’m give him attention. It doesn’t hurt in anyway and then he rubbs against me more purring away.


  • Stephanie Hillier

    I agree that John Jansen seems to be the one with aggressive issues. Sounds like you’re incredibly abusive to everyone in your life and in general andif your cat has a chance, I’m sure he will run away as far as he can get from you!!


  • Jim

    We were adopted last summer by a male “wild” cat – with, I think, a ot of Main Coon, or Siberian in him. I use the term “wild”, because for many weeks previously, he had appeared in the garden from somewhere, and would run away if he spotted either me or the wife 50 or more yards in the distance;
    However, after leaving him food every day, he eventually came closer and closer, until one day, as I put out a dish of food, he ran up to me and rubbed against my legs. To cut a long story short, we had him chipped & neutered, and he is now almost a house cat, and the most loveable softy cat anyone could wish for.
    He still loves to get outside, even on the wettest and windy of days – which he can do whenever he likes, via the cat-flap. Whenever I approach him, he usually rolls over on the ground, exposing hi belly as if to say please rub my tummy. However, when I do this, he often grabs my hand with his front paws- (and usually only a minimum of claws -if any at all) and pulls my hand up to his head, for me to rub his face -something he loves greatly.
    Regularly, when I am rubbing his face & cheeks, he will then close his teeth on my hand ever so gently, that to say he “bites”, is almost the wrong word to use. He makes quite a show of pretending to bite – and I can only assume that he is giving me “Love Bites” to express his happiness and contentment. I think that since “rescuing” him from a “wild outdoor existence” we have developed such a strong bond together, and this is his way of expressing his feelings of happiness


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