Here's Why Your Cat Gives You "Love" Bites
If you're a cat butler (err, owner) you've probably experienced a "love bite" or two. Love bites usually happen in the midst of kitty cuddle time. One minute your kitty will be purring away as you pet them, the next they're nibbling and nipping at your hands. My cat Rascal has a fondness for my chomping down on my knuckles. This odd behavior may leave many cat owners wondering, "Why is my cat biting me out of nowhere?"
Biting is a form of communication for cats. They can bite for more than a few reasons: fear, aggression, defensiveness, or acting territorially. But did you know that many cats give their owners gentle nibbles and nips as a display of affection? Hence the name "Love Bites"! Cats show their affection for us humans in several ways - you just have to know what to look for.
What is a Love Bite?
Love bites generally start as licks and graduate into gentle nips and nibbles that don't break the skin. Some cat behaviorists believe that love bites are reminiscent of a cat's kittenhood when their mothers would lick and nibble them during grooming. So if your cat is giving you a gentle nibble or lick, it can be seen as a sign of affection.
And believe it or not, though domestic cats aren't usually seen as "social" animals, they actually enjoy participating in what's called "allogrooming." Allogrooming is a social grooming behavior that helps increase bonds among social groups, in this case, you and your kitty; much like a pride of lions.
So, how can you tell what is and isn't a love bite? A love bite generally doesn't break the skin. And when your kitty is giving you these gentle nibbles, there won't be other signs of fear or aggression, like hissing, growling, and clawing. Engaging in "love bite" behavior, your cat's body language will be relaxed and calm.
Overstimulation
However, as most cat owners know: sometimes these gentle nibbles and licks can be a sign that your cat is overstimulated and they're letting you know, gently, that it's time to stop. If you've ever been petting your cat only to have their gentle nibbles escalate suddenly into a harder bite, your cat may be experiencing overstimulation. If you have multiple cats that groom each other, you may notice this behavior during grooming time, too.
Cats may experience overstimulation due to the sensitivity of their hair follicles - after an extended period of petting or pressure, it can begin to hurt and cause discomfort in cats. Gentle nips may be your cat letting you know petting time is over; these warnings may be paired with other signs of discomfort, such as tail swishing or flicking, skin twitching over the back, flattening of the ears, freezing, tenseness or staring, quick head turn to watch your hand as you pet, pupillary dilation, or walking away and lying down.
How to Stop "Love Bites"
While love bites can often be a sign of affection, they can still hurt or cause discomfort to us cat owners. It's okay to discourage this behavior.
1. When your cat gives you love bites, don't quickly pull your hand away. Instead, stop moving your hand altogether until the nibbles stop, then move your hand. Cats are visual predators and the movement of your hand may encourage their prey drive and make them chomp down harder, purely out of instinct.
Don't yell at or swat your cat, as this may result in fearful or aggressive behavior. Instead, use a reward system, such as treats, when the cat shows appropriate behavior.
2. If your cat gives you love bites a little too often, try a hands-off play style. Use interactive toys such as a variety of wand toys or even an app-controlled cat toy to encourage bonding with your cat without the love bites.
Does your cat give you love bites? Let us know in the comments!
My cat does this sometimes. I usually grab his whole head (I have rather large hands), give it a shake and tell him “NO!” firmly. If he does it again I hold his neck down against the floor and tell him “no” again, then pop his behind. It usually works.
I adopted a very shy 3 month old kitten about a month and a half ago. He has come into his own little personality, especially around me. He is still getting used to my boyfriend so with that being said I’m 100% his person. He’s almost always loved to be pet (especially on his head/ neck) but within the last few days he keeps biting my hand hard every now and then! He doesn’t puncture the skin but I’m scared he will soon with the force and sharpness of his teeth! I’m beginning to feel as though they are not love bites.
My female cat wraps her paws tight around my wrist. Then chomps on my knuckles. As soon as I’m still she lays her head on me and tries to sleep. Without releasing my hand. When I pull away she bites again in attempts to hold me still. Guess she thinks I’m her kitten?
We have 2 rescue cats, Yoda, 11 yrs and his niece, Tinks, 9 yrs…they’ve been together all their lives and we rescued them 2 years ago. Yoda is a lovely boy. Enjoys a little petting, and he’ll sit on my side table and stare at me until I pay attention….but if he’s really wanting some love, he’ll stick his head into my hand. Tinks is her own girl. Doesn’t go for petting at all during the day, but at night, at 2am (!) she will jump onto the bed and prod us until we take notice. She then just loves to flop onto her side with her head pressed onto a hand. Recently she’s started licking my fingers and giving a gentle bite…it actually feels really nice. A classic love bite. I’m so glad we rescued these two. They give us both so much back. If anyone needs a cat, I have to say, do rescue an unwanted older cat. You’ll be so pleased how much love they have to give.
I have two house cats that couldn’t be more different. Bird, is older, about 9 or 10, we’re not sure exactly. She only wants affection on her terms. I’m always waiting for it, because I love her so, but I have to wait until she comes to me looking for lovins. She also let’s me know when she’s had enough. She does the “love bite” and hisses. It’s not an aggressive bite or hiss. Just letting us know “I’m done. Leave me alone.” She couldn’t care less about our other cat. Has zero interest in being his friend or playmate. Tacocat is the exact opposite. He is almost 2 and the most loveable little guy you could ever meet. He loves pets at anytime. Rolls over and exposes his belly for us to rub and scratch. He comes looking for us so that he can get lovins if it has been too long since his last session. Lol. He will, very gently, bite my wrist while rubbing his belly. I wouldn’t even call it a bite though. It’s like he opens his mouth and places his teeth on my wrist. No pressure at all. And he nudges and licks my hand and fingers afterwards with his purrbox blaring. I can’t imagine, when he does this, that he wants me to stop. It seems so much like he’s telling us “I love you and this feels amazing!” I am definitely going to stop next time and see how he reacts. He usually will put his head under your hand and nudge at you if he thinks you stopped too soon. He is the best three legged cat ever! I love both of my furry friends equally, but Tacocat steals my heart with his love.
Leave a comment