Just One Smooch! Expectations vs. My Cat

The dream: a tender little kiss, a happy cat, maybe some hearts floating overhead. The reality: one firmly planted paw acting as a tiny facial security barrier.

Today's Milton the Cat comic explores the enormous gap between other people's cuddly-cat moments and your own highly regulated affection program.

You provide the meals. You surrender the best seat. You have purchased toys that were immediately rejected in favor of their packaging. Surely one tiny smooch is included in the arrangement?

Milton would like to direct your attention to the outstretched paw. The answer is currently unavailable, and no amount of puckering will expedite the process.

Some cats are enthusiastic snugglers. Others prefer to supervise your affection from a comfortable distance. We can laugh at the disappointed human while still letting the cat call the cuddle shots. A little personal space, a lot of love, and perhaps a less ambitious greeting next time.

A holiday match with no cuddle negotiations

If someone on your list lives with a tiny, whiskered bouncer, give them a present that won't enforce a no-kissing policy: the Milton the Cat™ 2027 Page-A-Day Calendar. Make it their “you are not alone” gift, a tribute to loving a cat whose personal bubble is larger than the living room. No bribery, pleading, or rejected smooches needed at the unwrapping.

The Milton calendar is the perfect gift for the holidays for a cat lover with plenty of affection and nowhere to put it.